Mercury man checking in from Cleveland

Hi. I'm Adam. I'm from Cleveland's east side and I just bought a Caprice wagon as a gear hauler for my awful punk rock band. Figured I might as well register here so I can learn a little bit about these things. The last GMs I owned were both third-gen Firebirds, so...I have no real vocabulary when it comes to things like Optispark, 700R4, blah blah blah.

And I think I'm gonna need all the help I can get, I mean would you look at this thing?


I think I did okay for $600. It's a '94 Caprice with the LT1. 202k claimed miles, but there's no way of knowing for sure because the digital odometer scrolls like a slot machine? It runs really strong and everything works, even the A/C and the power antenna. New dual exhaust, starter, tires, brakes. Typical GM oil leak = free undercoating. The interior smells okay, but looks like someone was murdered inside. I think it'll clean up okay. The rear quarters are pretty rough; I'm thinking of pop riveting old license plates in place.

I mentioned in the subject line that I'm a Mercury Man. I currently own a 2003 Marauder and a 2004 Grand Marquis LS. Here's the Marauder.


Previously, I owned a 2002 Grand Marquis, a 2004 Grand Marquis LS (that was totaled), and a 2004 Marauder. I guess you could say I like my big cars.

Welcome to B-Body land. I think you are going to like it.
A good mod for that oil leak is a large piece of cardboard to protect your driveway.
Otherwise the usual suspects are described elsewhere in this forum.

Your Panther looks nice, and makes me suspect you'll know how to take care of the wagon, and make it into whatever you want. GM specific help is here when you decide what to do.
I was going to suggest some inexpensive shinier wheels as a first mod, but your current set up may be a perfect presentation for an "Awful punk rock band."
Does Cleveland still rock?

Welcome,Looking forward to seeing what you will do with the big girl.

Welcome to the forum when I changed radiators decided to get rid of my oil cooler with it's lines.... my oil leak disappeared. Jeff

802 wrote:

A good mod for that oil leak is a large piece of cardboard to protect your driveway.

You read my mind. As long as it isn't hemorrhaging oil, I'm okay with the occasional drip. Like I said, free undercoating. Both Mercs get synthetic and good filters; this thing is gonna get conventional dino and a Fram (or whatever the FLAPS has on sale).

802 wrote:

I was going to suggest some inexpensive shinier wheels as a first mod, but your current set up may be a perfect presentation for an "Awful punk rock band."

I'll likely hit a few swap meets and scour Craigs for a set of wheels. Chevy folks are plentiful here (and everywhere) and I think I can get a set of rollers with tires for under $200. If I can't, I'll take these off, sand 'em, and paint them some loud color (hot pink? neon green?) and throw some chrome lug nuts on it. Done.

802 wrote:

Does Cleveland still rock?

We never stopped.  

Andebe wrote:

Welcome,Looking forward to seeing what you will do with the big girl.

Thanks. Probably nothing real fancy; I have enough projects already.

bamalongroof wrote:

Welcome to the forum when I changed radiators decided to get rid of my oil cooler with it's lines.... my oil leak disappeared.

That'll give me an idea of where to start looking. I haven't crawled all the way under yet.

Welcome to the group,nice looking Marauder too!

Hey, thanks! Not bad for 122k

Big Cars Need Love Too! By the looks of your Merc, your wagon will be fine. It'll turn into a nice gear hauler. Glad to see you made it here.

Welcome, I grew up in Medina County, nice to see another Buckeye here.

Picked up the car today and signed the title over. First stop was an emissions test. Passed with flying colors - though I suspect a few pinholes may have helped.


After that, my buddy (who followed me back in my '04 Marquis) conned a free lunch out of me since I made him wake up early. He decided to sit in the third row for fun once we got to the bar.


Then we enlisted a friend's lift and did a rear cat delete on his '99 Mercury and threw some rear shocks in the Caprice. I went with cheap-ass Monroe Gas-Matic shocks because they were in stock. Not the best, obviously, but they corrected the hilarious wavy-gravy ride. Here I am, spinning a ratchet while another pal looks on.


That job was kind of an ass pain. Those top bolts aren't fat-hand-friendly.

While doing the shocks, we found a lot of rust in unexpected places, and a bunch of leaks. I will probably just keep the thing topped off for now. Optispark is already wet, so I'm guessing a water pump and new Opti will be in order sometime in the next 3 months. No big deal.

Got home around sunset and drank a beer on the roof of the car.


I'm considering a really stupid paint job on this thing...

Define stupid? Lol

A-team van?
'77ish Trans Am?
Idunno.

Bet you get a lot of work done around your cars until the beer shows up.Whatever you do to the wagon it will be entertaining.Spent my summers in ohio at my grannys,those are some great memories.

A screaming chicken in woodgrain would be awesome. Woodgrain racing stripes? Peel the vinyl off of the side trim, polish it out since it's stainless and put in a two tone instead of the woodgrain.

Flasheroo wrote:

Bet you get a lot of work done around your cars until the beer shows up.

I usually don't crack the first beer until the project's complete, otherwise I become 'distracted'.  Though the paint job will likely be a 12-pack project with help from my bandmates.

stewzer55 wrote:

A screaming chicken in woodgrain would be awesome. Woodgrain racing stripes?  Peel the vinyl off of the side trim, polish it out since it's stainless and put in a two tone instead of the woodgrain.

I'm thinking of getting completely away from the woodgrain, blacking out the grille completely and doing a true black/gold treatment. And I'm not even sure I'll do the authentic screaming chicken - might pick a completely different animal.

a_d_a_m wrote:

Flasheroo wrote:

Bet you get a lot of work done around your cars until the beer shows up.

I usually don't crack the first beer until the project's complete, otherwise I become 'distracted'.  Though the paint job will likely be a 12-pack project with help from my bandmates.

stewzer55 wrote:

A screaming chicken in woodgrain would be awesome. Woodgrain racing stripes?  Peel the vinyl off of the side trim, polish it out since it's stainless and put in a two tone instead of the woodgrain.

I'm thinking of getting completely away from the woodgrain, blacking out the grille completely and doing a true black/gold treatment. And I'm not even sure I'll do the authentic screaming chicken - might pick a completely different animal.

The choice is obvious then.... A Screaming Whale!!!

With Ahab's leg hanging out of its mouth and blood dripping? Oh, my head is in a bad place today!

I vote T/A tribute.

The rusty wheels started to bother me. I went out in my garage and found a few mostly-empty cans of black spray paint, and a can of silver that was at least ten years old and barely had anything in it.

Better than it was, I guess:

Mercury man checking out.

After one gig, it was painfully obvious that the Caprice wasn't large enough to hold all of our equipment plus band members. I put it on Craigslist and it sold quickly, with a couple extra bucks in my pocket.  The search is on for a cheap van now. Take care, y'all.

Ahhhhh,the life of a music man. Keep on rolling...

a_d_a_m wrote:

A-team van?
'77ish Trans Am?
Idunno.

I dunno I kinda got the stem theme going already lol...look at my profile pic.

Curious about your band, I'm an old first wave punk myself.....early 80s London, NY, LA bands....

Sprocket wrote:

Curious about your band, I'm an old first wave punk myself.....early 80s London, NY, LA bands....

More into the '60s garage and '70s stuff a la NY Dolls, Dead Boys, etc.

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