My tale of the worst debocle of a car purchase evar.....

So back in APRIL I paypalled my buddy in Canadia, Moose, for his car. Moose was supposed to deliver it within about 3 weeks for an additional $50+ a home cooked dinner. He wasn't able to, so that sucked.

Since he also ended up not being able to deliver it in weeks 4-15, I decided to revive the old car dolly that was leaning against my garage when I bought my house 11 years ago and go get that mofo myseff. I got my license enhanced ($45)repacked the bearings with grease, bought new tires $30, and even went $50 deep for the "correct" car-dolly-wheel-webbing-ratcheting strap thangs. Renting a bad ass Uhaul dolly is only like $40 iirc, so I'm well past the point of mathematical fail, but I figured that it'd be worth it to have my own ish.

Well last night, about 16 or 17 weeks after I'd paid for the car, I was going to leave here about 6:15 to go get it. FMA was going to take all her kids to a bonfire, but thunderstorm loomed so they decided to join me. We pissed away an hour of precious daylight and left at 7:15. So that kinda sucked.

By 7:30 I'd touched the temp control knob in the truck, which seemed to kill the A/C - and it was like 90 out. So that sucked.

We made it through the border and to the spot that Moose was only 5 minutes away from and called him. He took a LOT longer to get there than 5 minutes because he was getting laid when I called. I wasn't. I was waiting in a parking lot with 4 kids in a hot truck. It was now dark out. It sucked.

We followed him home and figured we'd throw it on the dolly and be gone in a jiffy. The first thing Moose did after walking out of his house to get the keys was LOSE THE KEYS. 30 more wasted minutes later we found them. (it sucked)

Next was to swap in a new battery so I could throw on the hazzards for the ride home. For various reasons of extensionless socket failure, that also took THIRTY minutes. I thought that also sucked.

Next was to pop out the driveshaft and be GONE. A 6 foot long pry bar and an HOUR later, the rear U joint finally quit holding hands with the rear yolk. Yes, and HOUR to pull the driveshaft. Yes, that sucked too.

Ok, now alls we have to do was throw it on the dollly, strap it down and be GONE. So we get it on there, (another 40 minutes of debocle) and I bust out my new straps - and they are friggin HUGE. There is no way on planet ERF they are gonna work. It's now almost midnight on a Sunday night - 20 miles from the closest town - in Canada. Running to get different straps couldn't be less of an option - but there's no effin way I'm leaving there without the car at THIS point. Moose has some heavy duty straps, so we did the best we could to ratchet the LCAs to the dolly. It was half assed at best, but it was the best we could do.

By this point - we've missed dinner - it's well after midnight - the only thing that's gone well is NOTHING - I got 4 starving kids - and we promise them that as soon as we get back into the USA, we can grab a bite.

At the border, we get the expected runaroud due to importing the car. An hour later we get to leave - or so we thought. To hit their exit to the toll booths from where they parked me - I had to cut it hard left. In doing so - with the tires not strapped down right - the car shifted on the dolly when I turned, the dolly wheel caught the drivers fender, and the car climbed the dolly tire as it rolled - messing up the fender. After squaring up the car - and re-strapping it down - it immediately did the same thing again - all while a couple border guys are bitching at us for blocking their exit. That was another hour+ of suckery.

It didn't take them long to figure out that their stupid exit would be cleared faster if they HELPED, so they moved a van and cleared a dedicated a toll gate to the sole purpose of our ongoing debocle. We unhooked the car from the dolly and I drove the burb and empty dolly into the country, stopping about 20 feet past the gate. Then Moose and a US Border Guard PUSHED the car from the inspection area over to the gates, through the gate, and into the country. We then RE-loaded it on to the dolly, RE-half assed strapped it down, and RE-headed for home. At this point, it's well after 2am and I can now add soaking wet to the list of suckery since the ground was wet from the previous rain.

I pulled into my yard at 3:53AM - pissed, starving, wet, exhausted, and with the car crooked on the dolly - just in time for the clouds to empty out another thunderstorm on us while we carried in the kids.

.... But hey, at least I didn't give them bastards at Uhaul $40!!

Welcome back to America!

Do tell me, do you ever actually have a normal day?

Glad ya got the car home though! What is it?

Normal is relative. But by most people's standards, probably not.

It'a a partially cloned 1994 9C1.

Dude that SUCKED... !

..lol...at least someone got laied in this story. Man, you just don't give up!

Looks like everybody got laid here... Bewber kept getting f***kd at every turn.

One day I hope to meet you Bewber. While your ordeal obviously sucked and I feel for you, I'm sort of glad to know that I'm not the only one that nothing ever can be simple for. Seems like I have to fight every step of the way for things that are normal to others. Glad you did make it home with the car still on the dolly. I think it would have been a real bad end to the night if it would have passed you...

Jon

bewbers you forgot to mention the part where Paul tried to help out......

buickestate wrote:

bewbers you forgot to mention the part where Paul tried to help out......

Absolutely. The ordeal I went through was NOT even the first chapter in this deal - nor the second.

Last month, Paul got wind of the BS deal of the car being paid for and not delivered - and since I didn't yet have my enhanced license, he volunteered to go get it from Mooses house and deliver it to me. He said he was glad to help since I babysat his new roady for a couple days.

Paul lives about 2.5 hours from moose too - so we're not talking about going across the street. So on the 2.5 hour treck to Mooses - his trailer blew a tire, which took out some wiring. After getting a new tire and putting a bandaid on the wiring, he finally get's to mooses house - and 2.5 hours had turned into 4.

The load the car and get to the border - and they had to wait HOURS to get to the booth since it was the 4th of July weekend. We'd set up an appointment with a tranny shop in Detroit too - so the deal was that Moose shat the trans, and paul was just helping him get it to the shop. Fail. After like another 4 hours at the border they were denied entry into the country and forced to return to canada with the car, and had to wait another couple hours in THAT line to get back in. They were told they could only bring it in if they were the owner, or a LICENSED transporter hired by the owner.

Alltogether, Paul and Red threw down like a 12-14 hour day on my behalf - spent the whole day dealing with this crap - and at the end of it all, the car was right back at mooses where we started MONTHS ago.

So good call Pat. It shouldn't have been discluded and once again - another HUGE thanks to Paul and Red for their efforts.

Man, you have some of the best stories! And you tell them so well. You should write a book.

so atranny line woulda cost how much?
Glad to see other folks have days like this too,.
my mother always told me there'd be days like that,. she left out the part of 4 outta 7 days,.

Nick
U-haul got screwed too,. F them.

Boobzout... the good news about your story is that it affirms the fact that shit happens to other people and not just me. I guess in a way to helps to know we are not not alone in this world, and thorugh the crap happening to ourselves, as well as the next guy, that we somehow all share a brotherhood of sorts. Granted ... wierd and f'd up, ... but still a brotherhood.


I'd liked the part where he was late cause he was getting it while you are outside with the kids!

Priceless dude... priceless.

Thanks for sharing.

Dave

Man......... what an adventure...................

Having ridden in that truck that gets home at 3AM with no din-din I can totally relate, but on the same token, humor is a point of view and I laughed my arse off reading the story mostly cuz I've lived it one way or another. Glad you got your ride back to the crib

John, I can identify with you.

A number of years ago I was looking for some fenders and found a parts car about an hour west of me. I drove out and looked at it, and the color match was close enough. The guy quoted me a ridiculous price for the fenders and when I balked, he sputtered "I'll sell you the whole car for X" which was only a little bit more. After deciding I could end up cash neutral on the deal based on what was still there (motor, trans and most of the underhood mechanicals were gone), I left a deposit indicating my seriousness and drove home.

My gearhead neighbor had a tow dolly and said I could borrow it any time, so I called in the favor and brought it over. Turns out it was setup for a 2" ball and the ball on the back of my wagon was.. ahem.. not 2". So i rednecked a way to lock it into place and called it "good enough" since the parts car was going to be fairly light at this point.

I bounced and banged my way out to their house (as anyone who has towed a tow dolly can attest), and when I showed up, there was him and his buddy, both of whom had had several beers by this point. Given the tight confines of his driveway and yard, there was no way we'd be able to get this roller up onto the tow dolly. After a long speech stating that I should have brought a rollback, he calls his buddy with a wrecker to come and turn the car around and then lift up the rear so we can slide the dolly under it. Bybye 45 minutes.

Once we get the dolly on, the wrecker departs. Minutes later I back my wagon up, hook up, and do the same thing you did - turn too tight and put a nice crease in an otherwise immaculate door. Guy and his friend look at the situation and make more snide commentary. Eventually I convinced them to heave the front end over (we were now on dirt) and get it lined up enough to pull out. 30 minutes spent.

Now I'm ready to go. I ask for the title. "Let me go inside and look for it."
20 minutes later I get "it must be in my safety deposit box. I'll have to mail it to you." Let's just say I never got that title after numerous unreturned calls. What I should have done was ask for money back until he sends the title. Lesson learned, and another 25 minutes spent.

Angry and tired, I get in the car and start to drive away. His friend runs up and yells in "STOP - you've got no trailer lights!" as if he's not going to let me leave without them. So I spend 45 minutes rednecking a new set of wiring to the lights and it seems to work. More snide comments about the piss-poor trailer setup (turns out my neighbor hadn't used it in several years). I retort back "hey, you guys made me fix the darn lights." "No we didn't! You could have left 45 minutes ago!" Ug. 45 minutes spent.

I finally roll out of there and realize this rig is much heavier than I expected. So I take it easy and head to the interstate, but I get stopped by a cop. "Did you know your trailer lights aren't working? It's real hard to see you, and because the car is facing backwards with no headlight housings installed, nobody really knows what they're looking at." Great, all that wiring work for nothing. So, I asked him for directions to a grocery store to buy some aluminum foil and clear packing tape to redneck some reflectors. Another 60 minutes wasted.

I finally get on the interstate and this whole setup is clearly not meant for highway speeds. I stop to check if there's any way to take backroads home and there is NOT. So I ease everything the rest of the way home, moving along okay until I hit stop and go traffic due to road construction. Oh, and the wagon's transmission had broken about a month prior (cracked forward piston) and so I've only got D. After about 15 minutes of stop and go, I start to notice that the overrun clutches are no longer working. Great, hopefully I don't lose the forward clutches too, then I'll be really hosed with TWO broken cars hooked together! Thank God the traffic cleared up and I finally got everything home.

At this point it's nearly 3 hours later than I was supposed to be home and I am just whipped.

I did finally break even on the car, but it took hours of labor and almost two years. I am still finding and selling or throwing out parts here and there as I find them.

Recommendation for next time: Hire a rollback, or bring two of the burliest friends you can find along with a solid tow rig and trailer. Dollies just suck. And parts cars rarely turn out to be the moneymakers you might think they are unless you really know what you are doing.

Whole Eeeee CRAP! That totally sucks.

See, I TOAD YOU you couldn't pass up the deal on that car!

And WTF? Moose couldn't hook you (or at least the KIDS) up with a coupla PBJs or something? What a doosh.